un californien à paris

changing face

time's looping

My lil sister, Sara, kept me company at LAX during a 3-hour layover on my way back to Paris. I hadn't seen her in 11 months; my first blog post 22 Feb 02 mentions her and Chris’s (pictured with Sara) Paris visit and communicable jetlag. Granted I was all messed-up by jetlag (again), lack of sleep, hours of prayer (it's the hrs not the prayer that messed me up), and a chronic cultural dissonance that I wear like old jeans … but seeing her, eight-months plump with my unborn niece, was truly surreal, dreamish.

Today is baby Sara’s 28th birthday. Our mother was the same age when she was pregnant with this same little sister sitting across a Starbuck's table that might just as well have been anywhere or nowhere. In my sister's face, I remember my mother’s. I can't wait to see my niece's. In that moment, neither old nor young, I simply stepped out of time to watch it gently circle by. Sara and I sipped our grande vanilla lattes and contemplated how we would care for our aging parents like our parents must have lovingly considered what was best for us, their children.

Sara sent me pictures from our maternal Grandfather’s 90th birthday party, last summer in Oregon. I wonder what Grandpa sees when he steps out of time. Winston Churchhill said, “He who sees furthest into the past, sees furthest into the future.” I believe time curls back on itself and spirals on and on. If you stand in the bottom of a loop, take a few steps back and look up, you can almost see the whole cycle. The teacher said, "There is nothing new under the sun."

The absence of the frenchy-finley-4 considerably diminishes the light blue hue in this four-generational, extended family photo. There is also a red t-shirt that is missing, grandma’s. Two years ago, she went home to be with Jesus. I wonder what time looks like from where she is.

The third of the four generations, these are all the cousins sans moi. I remind them that, whether I am absent or present, I will always be the First Born; remembering always that many who were first will be last and many who were last will be first. And I know, one day, I might ride time's loop in from behind them... but I hope, like grandma, that I get there first. Home, I mean.

alive and well

sorry to leave you all hanging... i'm alive and well, but the wifi in the hotel is too expensive to justify. right now i'm in the retail apple store in littleton colorado where it's free...my friends are waiting for me so this will be short.

i'm here in colorado with over 300 of my co-workers gathered from the four corners of the planet. we've spent most of our time praying together and expressing our adoration for the only living God. The time as been rich. we're also discussing important changes that will transform the very DNA of our organisation. i'll tell you more when i get back to france on 26 january (my sister's birthday!)

jetlaaaggggeeed.

i'm in denver, colorado... haven't slept in over 24 hrs. tomorrow, when i can see straight again, i'll tell you why i'm here. the hotel's got wifi. it's 07h30 in Paris and in my head. it's 23h30 here. i'm going to sleep now. nite nite.

your story to remain untold

You say you want diamonds on a ring of gold
Your story to remain untold
Your love not to grow cold.
All the promises we break, from the cradle to the grave
When all I want is you.

(U2: all I want is you)

Karen wishes her "story to remain untold". She's not at all convinced about blogging... It's probably a good thing or I would be posting about her all the time. But today's her birthday and I'm out of control. I want the world to know: I LOVE THIS WOMAN ... if she normally keeps a low profile on the blog; it is by sheer discipline on my part to respect her wishes.

Today, to honor her Frenchy existence, I submitted my naturalization dossier (containing my legal self: 33 separate documents with French translation) to the proper French authorities. There's no turning back. This time next year, I will be legally French. It's not quite like birth...but accepting a new nationality doesn't happen everyday in one's life. I chose my wife's birthday because, after all, it is her person in all her wonderful frenchyness who transforms and completes me more than any legal status ever will...

Bon anniversaire, mon soleil. Tu ouvres mes yeux. Tu illumines mes jours et mon chemin. Tu me vois tel que je suis ... et tu m'aimes. "Merci" est si petit.

Je promets de toujours... et, oui, toujours.

this kind of trouble

You’re blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

You’re blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

You're blessed when you're content with just who you are--no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.

You're blessed when you care. AT the moment of being 'care-full' you find yourselves cared for.

You're blessed when you get your inside world--your mind and heart--put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.

Not only that--count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens--give a cheer, even!--for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.

(Jesus, Matthew Chapter 5, The Message)

Why blog?

I want to ask the question: Why blog? The closest thing I've found to a satisfying answer comes from Frederick Buechner. He's talking about his autobiographical work, but his idea here contains the ingredients that I like to find in a blog :

I talk about my life anyway because if, on the one hand, hardly anything could be less important, on the other hand, hardly anything could be more important. My story is important not because it is mine, God knows, but because if I tell it anything like right, the chances are you will recognize that in many ways it is also yours. Maybe nothing is more important that we keep track, you and I, of these stories of who we are and where we have come from and the people we have met along the way because it is precisely through these stories in all their particularity, as I have long believed and often said that God makes himself known to each of us most powerfully and personally. If this is true, it means that to lose track of our stories is to be profoundly impoverished not only humanly but spiritually.

Telling Secrets pp. 29-30

phone blog

This is my desk where i usually am when i post something to my blog, but i've sent this pic from my cellphone & i'm nowhere near my study. cool!

NET NEWS WIRE: a test

i don't like to blog about blogging but i'm doing a little house cleaning, setting myself up to post from netnewswire software.

i'm going to try to post from my cell phone too.

as i mentioned on the old blog, i'll be back and bloggin about more important things on 9 January.

SNOIKOS

We woke up this morning to find the OIKOS garden covered in snow, like a blank page waiting to be filled with wonder and adventure. As our fresh footfalls press forward into a crisp new year, may our lives express God's rythmns and poetry... The Finleys in France wish you a joyful 2004 !